Lessons, lessons, lessons. Single file line, please. I can’t
take all of you at the same time… or can I?
*Sigh*
Life is truly a beautiful catastrophe, isn’t it? Each
painful event, if given enough time (and honest reflection) can become such a
magnificent story. There’s a lesson to be learned there. I’ll repeat the
statement without all the fluffy wording. Everything bad can become good if an
adequate amount of time and honest hard work is put into it.
Events are neither good nor bad, they are simply events. It
is us who determines the positivity or negativity each event will hold. Isn’t
that empowering? To know that we hold the key to our own happiness? And it
starts with a simple perspective shift, a mind-blowing one at that. Let me give
an example…
Now, please listen to me carefully and with an open heart,
because what I’m about to say isn’t necessarily politically correct. I am going
to use my own personal experience, so no one can tell me I’m wrong. ;)
When
I was raped, my entire life flipped upside down, and not in the Fresh Prince of
Bel Air type of way we all secretly hope for. The window I saw my world through shattered into a million irreparable pieces. Now, if I were to take those
pieces and create a world around me of brokenness and hatred, I would have been
choosing to let a simple event negatively affect my life, thus making the event
a negative one. On the other hand, if I was to mold those broken pieces into
something extraordinarily wonderful, the event would have been a catalyst for
something positive, thus making it a positive event.
Now let me explain this fascinating window I now see life
through. This particular event in my life was without regret, one of the most
monumental experiences of my entire life. The reason for it’s importance is, as
I said before, it dramatically altered the way I view life. Life isn’t meant to
be survived, it’s meant to be created. I am not a victim, and I am certainly
not powerless. I am the opposite. I choose how my life is going to play out,
and I choose how each event within my life is going to affect me, whether it is
going to be positive or negative. Meaning, each event is neutral. Now if each
event is neutral, how do I explain the very real trauma I experienced when I
was raped?
It wasn’t the event of rape itself; it was the fact that I
could no longer hold my perspective of life as valid and true. My viewpoint no
longer made sense, life no longer
made sense. How could someone do such a despicable act to someone else, to me? The purity of life was gone, the idea
that each person is inherently good and would never purposefully inflict pain
onto someone else was lost in the broken window. How was I supposed to forgive
someone like him? Someone as low as that?
This answer might not be the one you’re looking for, but
it’s the one I found to be the most enlightening and life changing.
By realizing that he is a human being, just like me. He
makes mistakes, just like I do. He hurts people, just like I do. And if I were
to be given his life, with his mind, his body, his talents, and his weaknesses,
would I have honestly done anything
different?
The answer is no, I would have done the exact same thing as
he did…
Talk about a big pill to swallow.
*Ahhh*
Peace, for the first time in years. Swallowing that “pill”
means more than just an understanding of other humans. It means the millions of
unfixable pieces of glass that lay on the floor next to my feet can be melted
down and molded into a much more breath-taking window, with an even better view.
It means I no longer am “a girl that was raped and overcame it.” I am a human
being, with a life full of lessons ready to be learned.
When life becomes a series of lessons instead of a series of
events, the value of each moment increases as the attachment to them decreases.
And in those moments, there is freedom. True unyielding freedom.
