Girl Talk Gone Wrong

So let me start by saying that some times I wonder if my best friend lost some screws upstairs, or just wasn't born with them... either way, there are times that I wonder about her. And this morning was one of those times.

I have to first tell you my version of the story... the real version.

The other day, I was on my way to the gym to meet my trainer. I had forgotten to take my vitamins that morning, so I decided "hey, why not take them now, while I'm driving on the freeway. What's the worst that could happen?" okay none of that happened. The only thing that went through my head was "Shit! I forgot to take my vitamins today! I'll take them right now." I had them in this little pill bottle type thing, so without looking, I threw them back like the pill popper that I am and swallowed (with help of some water of course). Well you know how sometimes pills can get stuck at the top of your throat? Yes, that happened. So I took another swig of some water, and BAM unlodged and on its way down my throat... not. All of a sudden, I get a sharp pain at the base of my throat/ top of my chest area. I quickly look into the pill bottle to see the remaining vitamins (I take a lot. Eleven to be exact.) and realize I just swallowed my chewable vitamin C. F*** my life... Eh, I'll be fine. And let me be very clear right now. My chewable vitamin C is about the size of a quarter. It's hard and in order to be digested, it needs to be chewed; hence the name chewable. I was not fine. I start gulping down water like I had just finished an exhausting workout in the desert and my body responded by sending excruciatingly sharp pains into my chest area. I have never in my life felt that much pain. I couldn't breathe it hurt so bad. To alleviate some of the pain, I started screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs. Little did I know, my sunroof was open, so everyone around me probably heard my anguish loud and clear since we were in typical Los Angeles rush hour traffic. After close to an hour of this, the pill either dissolved or reached the bottom of my esophagus and plopped into my stomach. No aftermath, I am alive and well, and a little smarter. Never swallow that big of a pill again. Always look at what I am throwing into my mouth.

So last night, I call my best friend to tell her my horrific experience, really only to laugh at how funny it was. This was her interpretation of the event on her blog this morning: 

girl talk

I was talking to a girl friend last night when this came up in our conversation:

Friend: "Okay, I have this story to tell you that I think is so funny. Actually it's not that funny, but it's super dramatic. So I was in the car on my way to my training session (translation - working out with a physical trainer) and I got out my little vitamin case so I could take them before I got there. I swallowed one and for some reason it hurt so bad in my throat, like it was stuck or something. So I looked down and saw that my giant gummy vitamin was missing and it all made sense to me after that... I swallowed my chewable vitamin and it was seriously stuck in my throat for like an hour. For the rest of the car ride I just sat there screaming cuss words at the top of my lungs because it hurt that bad. And then I realized that my sunroof was open, so everyone at all the stop lights heard me screaming obscenities to myself, which probably explains all the looks I was getting."

Me, in my head: Wait... so you're telling me that you still take gummy vitamins?? Cool.

Me: "That's why we're friends."

Wait, whaaaaaat? Worst interpretation I have ever heard in my entire life. I wonder what other stories of mine she has retold and massacred like she did this one. Most importantly tho, GUMMY vitamin? What am I five years old still? (secretly, I wish all of my vitamins were gummy vitamins. I love those things.) She really thought a gummy got painfully lodged in my throat for over an hour.... I'll let that sink in.

Needless to say, this is one of those moments when I wonder what's really going on in that brain of hers, if anything at all. But nonetheless, I love the hell out of her even if she is a little, you know o.o and am quite proud of her with everything she has accomplished. One being her blog! (read in a singing voice) You, my friend, should check it out! :) www.missalexanavarro.com You won't be disappointed. And let's be honest, her version of the story was so much better than mine, which is why I can't even be mad at her. ;)

"That is why we're friends."